Artist’s name of my profile picture is @dollclaws
thinking your future wife was in the kitchen preparing you a hot meal — a meal so perfectly seasoned and cooked with love that it would distract you from the ache of your plundered bootyhole.
you pull up in the driveway and don’t see her car. you open the door and don’t smell anything tasty. no plate covered in the microwave, no dish in the oven.
You open the fridge and it’s so empty the light doesn’t even bother to turn on.
you wondering where your queen is — and where all the groceries are you gave her money for before you left that morning.
you figure she’s probably out running errands decide to check what time the grocery store closes. But it takes a moment for your metro PCS phone to connect to your neighbor’s wifi so you happen to look over to the counter and see a crumpled Sephora receipt laying there.
you open it and the timestamp was from a few hours ago.
your heart starts racing but you convince yourself she finally used that gift card you got her for your 1 month anniversary.
it’s getting late so you call her and it rings out then goes to voicemail. you figure the reception is usually bad near the frozen foods aisle of the grocery store and you did request her to splurge and buy you the jumbo box of hot pockets.
you’re so hungry you’re weak, but you can’t order anything because today’s sexcapades only covered your girl’s car note.
you try calling your girl again but it only rings 3 times before her voicemail kicks in. you decide to leave a message but before you even get 3 words out your phone runs out of the allotted minutes for the day and cuts off.
it’s getting late so you’re getting worried – plus you hate doing laundry on an empty stomach. if you don’t start it now you’ll have nothing to wear tomorrow so you pour some detergent in the bathtub and start scrolling through tumblr while it fills up.
you laugh at a few meme’s and reblog a post about how good it feels to have finally left toxic people and relationships in 2017 – 2018 is your year!
as you scroll your eye catches your girl’s url and you scroll back up. she reblogged a gifset of a couple canoodling at dinner overlooking the ocean with the caption “Mood. ” and tagged #Soon #WaitingForTonight #🤭😏
it seems weird because you live 5 hours from the closest beach so your gut tells you to check the notes and the nigga she said is her tumblr bestie replied with the eyes emoji.
it can’t be! you try to rush to the bedroom to find the tablet you bought her for christmas except the combination of raucus sex with an old nigga on viagra, hunger, and fear have your legs trembling with each step.
you find the tablet and open it to see the tumblr app is still open. there’s an unopened message from her tumblr bestie. it only says “iight bet.”
but when you scroll through the chat you see her prior message was telling him the gps says she should be “there” in 5 hours — it was sent 8 hours ago. Just above it is a picture of your girl in that lingerie she wore to give you your bday and valentine’s day presents.
you laying on the bed staring at the ceiling – you don’t even know when you sat down. you must’ve passed out in exhaustion and shock. you find yourself in deep thought wondering whether reporting the car stolen would violate the terms of the written agreement you signed the first time you flew her out to see you.
you’re struggling to remember – it was #TittyTuesday and she had just slid some fire nudes in to your askbox –you would’ve signed anything for her!
all of a sudden you become violently aware of the loud splashing noises coming from the bathroom. you forgot to turn the water off in the tub!
The familiar sound of a car door slamming in the driveway begins to pull you out of your sleep. Your clothes are soaking wet and the room around you smells like laundry detergent and post-sex lube residue.
You fell asleep playing her tumblr bestie’s snapchat story over and over trying to match up the giggle in the background of his candlelit “date night with bae” post with your girl’s voice. Despite being a practicing atheist you prayed to God several times that someone else has your Cinnamon Apple’s signature laugh — because the post prior was nigga buying a box of magnums and winking in the camera.
The key turns in the front door and a moment later your girl calls out “babe I’m home from work.” At the same time a text comes through to her phone she pauses to read it then let’s out a small laugh.
It’s an exact match to the snap story. Your adrenaline rushes and you jump up and burst through the bathroom door.
Your girl takes one long look at you and asks If you slipped and fell while doing laundry again. Dumbfounded, all you can do is hand her the tablet and wait for her respond.
Without missing a beat she says she had to handle her business and you knew how she functioned when you first read her /aboutme page. You fix your mouth to cuss her out but your stomach grumbles loudly so you ask what happened to the groceries. She says she needed the money to put gas in her tank for the trip.
Bursting with rage you snatch the engagement ring off her finger. “That ring cost me 6 rimjobs and a race-play gangbang!” You scream.
She only stares at you as you break down into hysterics. You rock back and forth weeping as every #blacklove post you ever made flashes before your eyes.
You begin sobbing, “I sold my body for us!”
😭😭😭😭😭😭
Praying that $1500 randomly comes to you when you need it the most this year.
I hope it comes before I need it most. I wish to never really NEED $1500 this yr, but that my finances will increase in abundance. I wish to receive $1500 multiple times this year just because the universe is on my side. Just because I deserve good things. Just because everyday something good happens for me. Just because I want it.
Right …. sure … that too.
overpopulation is a capitalist myth. pass it on
housing crises dont just happen. theyre designed.
Everyday people should not take majority of the blame for greenhouse gas emissions
Famines are political, not natural disasters.
Reblog it into existence
a note on people who always say “i don’t mind” whenever you ask where they want to eat/what they want to watch/etc:
usually this is because they’ve been punished in the past for voicing their opinions, not because they’re out to annoy you specifically. depending on how much flack they used to receive, it can be very stressful for them if you try and force them to offer up an idea.
a lot of my friends who do this appreciate me giving out like… three options. pick three different things that you will be happy to do any of and ask which of those three options they’d prefer. it removes the fear of “what if they don’t like my suggestion” without erasing their option to chose and have preferences so, you know, good all around
